heartstones | we are the sword, we tame the fire, the flame

we are the sword, we tame the fire, the flame

[It's wonderful to be home.

Oh, sure, it hasn't been an easy transition into this particular version of Terca Lumireis. After all, that involved tracking down and killing this version of himself, which was far harder than it needed to be. Waiting for the proper moment to ambush himself while Gauche and Droite were nowhere nearby was the most difficult part. His original plan had been to actually fight, he took the more merciful option and simply sniped his other self. In some ways it was sort of traumatizing, in others it was completely liberating.

(But as long as he doesn't think about it for too long, things are fine, as usual.)

Regardless, he disposed of the body and slipped right back into his old life without missing a beat.

Of course, some things had to be handled immediately - namely, that whole mess with Altosk, the Don's grandson, and Belias - but somehow things had managed to work themselves out. Well, somewhat, Yeager's banned from Dahngrest again, but it's not like that's anything new, and it certainly won't keep him out of the city.

(Given that this was the Don's punishment for his guild's incredibly stupid and dangerous actions, Raven really did work hard to get him out of trouble.)

And so they return to their lives. For the time being, Leviathan's Claw is keeping a lower profile and taking on far fewer jobs, which is mostly to make Raven's life easier, not that Yeager will admit that. He's met with the other two several times since returning home - Raven more than Alexei, for obvious reasons - and while it's always nice to see them, it's almost always been exclusively about business.

Not that he minds that, truly. There's something wonderful about picking up right where he left off, without the consequences of his actions in his world to actually feel marginally guilty over. The Don is alive and well (and pissed at him) here, after all. Zaude hasn't been raised from the ocean floor, and the guilds and the Empire seem to be handling each other decently well... for now.

...But.

It's hard to pretend that his time away hasn't changed him. Droite and Gauche have noticed it too - they stare at him when they think he won't notice and whisper amongst themselves, and there's always the feeling there, whenever he talks to them, that something is off. With their behavior, with his, it isn't entirely clear. Maybe both. They don't know, of course - he took care of his other self's body so that it would never be found, after all - but they recognize that he's changed, they just haven't figured out how.

And really, he wouldn't know how to begin addressing any of that with them, so he simply doesn't.

Oh, he'll get around to it someday, probably. They are his daughters and he does want to treat them as such - but for now he wants things to be normal. He wants the normalcy he so desperately craved while in that horrid place, so maybe he can have this for a little bit. As a treat.

Still, he always leaves those meetings - particularly the ones with Alexei - feeling like talking about business (and strictly business) is sort of... frustrating.

(If only he could drag the Commandant out to set something on fire again.)

It's one of those meetings that's brought him into Empire territory today - he had business here anyway, so it's not like it was just to see Alexei - and he shows up to the appointed meeting place on time, dressed as always in the usual suit, with the usual briefcase at his side. Were it not for the (slightly) more genuine expression, it would be easy to assume that everything was just as it once had been, without a single difference whatsoever.

It's nice, in some ways. In others, it's maddening.]

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I'll bear that in mind, then.

[He doesn't see to know what to do with that, though. Surely, that's it? ...Is that it? Of that's it he should probably return to the entourage (he's still got plenty of time left before he told them to come find him, but they really do hate this entire place), but it's... Well, this has been nice, he supposes.]

Of course.

[...Well, that's... that... It doesn't feel like that should be all. Stalling this out would be completely pointless for both of them, but he doesn't want to go just yet.

That's a dumb thought. Alexei said he'd be here for awhile yet, so it's not like it'll be a long time before they see each other again, right? Right. So no point in thinking about it further!]

I do appreciate the visit, and I'll see you again soon, Alexei.

[It's still weird to call him by name, so Yeager doesn't do it very often, but... well, he does mean it.]

[...God, he still doesn't know what to do with that. It's nice, but it's still incredibly strange, and he isn't sure what to do with it outside of take a while, after he leaves, to be privately pleased about the whole thing.

And then everything goes to hell back in Zaphias, because of course it does. Alexei isn't even sure what it is at first that requires his attention so badly - he just knows that his presence is required back in Zaphias, and when he returns he finds that something has happened with the Sword Stair.

The Sword Stair is the largest and most stable blastia they have; if the issue with the aer is getting to a point where the Sword Stair is destabilized, then that would be catastrophic. It's enough to work him up rather badly, even if, in the end, it isn't that bad - it comes down to readings he's required to interpret, to tests that need to be run against it because something came down strangely and that information somehow got to the public, and then there was panic over the barrier and he's one of the few whose presence will calm the people.

The barrier turns out to be fine; the anomaly was...troublesome, but within the range of fluctuation that's acceptable for the current time. But it's enough to remind him of the ever-present threat in those aer fluctuations, of the constant pressure that tends to come down on him to do something despite the Council doing everything in its power to ensure there's nothing he can do about it. And they'll continue on doing that, too, knowing them - after all, it was nothing this time, wasn't it? And they're not going to listen when Alexei tries to tell them that it really, really wasn't nothing.

He's required in Zaphias for some time, and he had to leave suddenly, and his thoughts are for the moment with the Empire but he'll realize after he returned how abrupt all of that will look. He knows that Don Whitehorse will understand; Schwann will make sure of that. Hopefully Yeager will do likewise.]

[Word of Alexei's sudden departure reaches him quickly - of course it does, he has several of his men inside Dahngrest at all times just to keep tabs on the different guilds that might prove useful, and something so large wouldn't have been able to escape his notice even if it had only been Gauche and Droite in the city. Exactly what is going on in Zaphias is much harder to get a good read on, but it's important enough to bring the Commandant back in a hurry, so it can't be good. The Council again, perhaps...?

It doesn't really matter, and though he does send someone to try to find out what's going on, he doesn't receive any valuable information. Frustrating, but not exactly surprising, at this point. Not that knowing would really dull the sting of disappointment any, he supposes.

And that's what it is, at the end of the day - disappointment that he can't see Alexei again, when he'd already gotten his hopes up about it. It isn't as though such a thing is unusual; he's had to cancel meetings with Raven before for various reasons, but the difference is that Raven spends a good deal of time in Dahngrest, it isn't difficult to reschedule. Finding reasons to be in the Empire is a whole different story.

Yeager doesn't have any reason to travel to the Empire now; his business dealings have been with the guilds primarily lately, causing problems that would undoubtedly anger the Don but won't risk truly upsetting him. A thin and dangerous line to walk, but one Yeager's gotten good at treading over the years. So he continues working, occasionally meeting with Raven, and feeling more and more annoyed that one third of this equation is seemingly going to remain just out of reach.

He considers traveling to Zaphias just for the hell of it. He has the money, he can find the time, and maybe the Commandant will pry himself away from work for five minutes if Yeager comes to him. He considers writing as well, but there isn't anything he can put in a letter that would be acceptable - not that he tried countless times, of course. In the end, he doesn't accomplish either, and time slips by.

It's nearly a month later when he actually has a reason to go to the Empire - Capua Nor, specifically - for a meeting about a job. It's not exactly close to Zaphias. He'd be going well out of his way just to try to arrange a spur-of-the-moment meeting with Alexei; he can't afford to stay away from the Guild for all that long, after all.

But he doesn't think twice about sending Gauche and Droite on back to the Manor of the Wicked after his business is concluded, and he makes his way to Zaphias anyway. He'd feel worse if he didn't try, after all.

So Alexei's going to be receiving a brief, handwritten note from one of the soldiers in passing, with no real explanation given for who it's from. Regardless, the letter's contents should give it away, even if the handwriting doesn't.]

I'm in town for a few days, so if you can free yourself from your busy schedule, pay me a visit.

I've kept you waiting long enough, haven't I? ☆

[A location of one of the inns is listed as well, should you want to come find him.]

[The note is perplexing at first; some part of him admittedly wonders if that poor woman who was swooning over Cumore recently has found herself another target. (She has; he's just correct about that for the wrong reasons entirely this time.) But odd woman or not, there's a good chance that he knows where this particular note came from, and as such... Well.

He has things he's in the middle of; he has things that are still demanding his attention even now. He's got more than enough to do without worrying about anyone's feelings - Yeager's, his own - and yet, even so, he finds himself getting frustrated and distracted until he finally decides to call it for the day and leave.

Fortunately the inn isn't any sort of great distance away, and he'll make his way there, pace brisk as usual. His usual blunt demeanor is on full display, as always, even when he's found the person he's here to see.]

Yeager. It's been some time.

[It's not particularly difficult to imagine the mountains of work Alexei's been buried under the moment he returned to the capital, so it's easy to assume that maybe he won't show up. It's his business whether or not he does, and Yeager can only wait here for so long, so there's no point in worrying about it. Either Alexei finds time to meet him or he doesn't, and that's... fine.

(It's not, not really. But there isn't anything else it can be, so that's what Yeager tells himself.)

So when he gets the knock at the door and sees a familiar face, it's understandable that he brightens immediately, right? Don't make a big deal of it.]

And here I thought you'd be entirely too busy! Come on in~

[He steps aside to allow Alexei to enter, that bright grin still in place.]

[...good lord, he's been here for thirty seconds and this is already so much. What does he do with this.]

Truth be told, I probably am. I'm here anyway.

[What did you expect, it's Yeager!!]

...Well, I appreciate that you made the time for me!

[Hopefully that brief pause isn't all that noticeable because wow, Alexei making time for him. Will wonders never cease (not sarcastic).]

I had business out this way so I thought I could drag you away from work for a bit; you likely could use the break.

[Clearly, it's some kind of miracle. Don't think about it too much.

That said, he takes a brief moment before responding to that any; the temptation is to deny it, to insist that everything is fine, perhaps to make some sort of biting remark regarding how Yeager doesn't need to concern himself with Alexei's well-being.]

...I likely could, yes.

[The admission feels weird. That doesn't mean it isn't honest.]

[Look at that, progress!! It still feels kind of surreal, but he can appreciate that Alexei is Trying.]

Don't worry, I don't have anything nefarious planned tonight~

[He knows better than to even joke about setting anything on fire in Zaphias, okay!!]

...Implying that you do have plans.

[He knows how that much tends to work, at any rate.]

[He laughs at that and holds up his hands.]

No, no, I wasn't even sure if you were going to drop by, so I didn't make any plans!

[He's trying to sit for once in his miserable life!!! Do you know how hard it is!!!]

Good.

[He might have to be annoyed, otherwise. As it is, he can appreciate the attempt.

...Sort of, anyway.]

Did you want anything in particular? I admit I wasn't expecting contact from you.

[Which isn't to say he's ungrateful for it? But still, you did contact him and that's...strange.]

[His first thought is to deflect, as always. But that's been the problem, hasn't it? They keep doing that and if neither of them actually says anything, then that's how every single meeting going forward will be. If he's perfectly honest with himself, Yeager isn't even sure what it is he's looking for out of meetings with Alexei at this point, but it isn't... this. Whatever "this" has become, anyway. Maybe he would've been perfectly fine with it back at that place, where they saw each other every damn day, but here? He's likely not going to see Alexei again for several months, if not longer.

So what does he want, exactly?]

I wanted to check in on you. I've sure things haven't been easy lately, especially since you were called back so suddenly.

[He doesn't expect Alexei to tell him anything about the situation, and he's not going to pry. But that is an honest answer, even if it's not... exactly right. I wanted to see you again would be more accurate, or even the dreaded I missed you, but there's only so much Yeager can get himself to admit, and so it's just going to have to be this for now.]

[Well, whatever "this" is, he seems pretty content with that answer, even if it is a bit on the surprising side; Yeager really isn't the sort to concede any ground, and as long as he continues doing that Alexei is fine with reciprocating. But this is new territory, and it's...nice, even if it's unexpected.]

They haven't. But it's...tolerable, at this point. There was a while where it wasn't, but I don't have much say in what I'm obligated to respond to.

It's better now, at least.

[...Well. You did say you wanted to check in.]

Ja, of course, you are the Commandant, after all.

[It's... nice? Nice that Alexei's admitting that much to him, he thinks. It can't be easy for Alexei to admit even that much, given how closed-off the man's always been around Yeager. Though of course, a great deal of that is simply through necessity, given how the two of them are as people.

But that's neither here nor there and with that out there, Yeager's... not really sure what to do now. So...]

And how are you and Schwann doing?

[It's (perhaps surprisingly) not teasing, just a genuine question.]

[...Oh. Oh god. It's fairly obvious that he wasn't expecting that question, but it's also something that he'd rather die than answer in any sort of complete manner. Hang on.]

We've been...doing well. Rather well.

[why can't you just tease him]

[You say something like that, how is he supposed to resist teasing you?? It's so tempting but no come on, we're doing well here, he's not going to immediately turn this back into their usual dumb interactions, resist the urge to tease!!]

I'm glad to hear that! I imagine the two of you have had a lot to discuss, ja?

[Schwann and Alexei's relationship is entirely their business and Yeager knows next to nothing about it, but that doesn't mean he can't be interested!! And look at this, he is trying so hard not to tease you. Appreciate his effort!!]

[but why...

okay. okay, he's going to at least put a good faith effort in, even if it's hard.]

We have. He's been with me throughout everything that's happened, but we never really discussed it beyond what was necessary. He's... He was under the impression that things were far different than they were with me. I never really dissuaded him from that idea.

[Oh, that's... somehow not what he was expecting. He's not sure what he was expecting (maybe for Alexei to brush it off?) but Yeager inclines his head a bit, thinking.]

Though you're on the same page now, ja?

Yes. We've been more or less on the same page since the... Since everything that happened.

[He still isn't sure what to call all of that.]

[The murders, he's guessing, or perhaps more accurately, the aftermath of that trial. Though maybe Alexei's just referring to their time in murdergame hell in general, which is very, very fair.]

I imagine that was difficult for the first little while! Somehow, neither of you seem the type to sit and talk about [vague handwave] all of that.

[That's a little lighter, but not properly a joke or teasing.]

Not particularly, no. He seems disinterested in letting me keep too many of my thoughts to myself, however. Given the results of what happened last time he did that.

[Schwann had made it rather plain that he felt guilty about that to some degree, though Alexei is firmly of the opinion that he doesn't need to. He chose to do what he did, and he chose to keep his reasoning to himself; Schwann isn't responsible for either of those decisions.]

Hmm... Well, maybe that's not a bad thing.

[Not necessarily because of the murders, because Yeager has no idea what was going on between you two with regards to that and he doesn't have any interest in asking about it now, but because Alexei can no longer set things on fire so he's going to have to find some other form of stress relief. Maybe talking to someone will help??

(Shouldn't that be the first thing to consider instead of arson— eh, whatever, it worked out well enough, didn't it?)]

It's easier to talk with him now about your thoughts, isn't it?

I don't know.

[Again, it's a weird admission, and not one that comes without an amount of thought behind it; he still has difficulties with this with Schwann, and while he doesn't talk to Yeager nearly as often or half as openly, it's somehow easier to talk about this in the context of discussing whatever he and Schwann are doing.]

I don't... I still don't like it. Talking to people about things that are too important. I don't want anyone to know too much. It's for his own good; he doesn't understand that.

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