heartstones | we are the sword, we tame the fire, the flame

we are the sword, we tame the fire, the flame

[It's wonderful to be home.

Oh, sure, it hasn't been an easy transition into this particular version of Terca Lumireis. After all, that involved tracking down and killing this version of himself, which was far harder than it needed to be. Waiting for the proper moment to ambush himself while Gauche and Droite were nowhere nearby was the most difficult part. His original plan had been to actually fight, he took the more merciful option and simply sniped his other self. In some ways it was sort of traumatizing, in others it was completely liberating.

(But as long as he doesn't think about it for too long, things are fine, as usual.)

Regardless, he disposed of the body and slipped right back into his old life without missing a beat.

Of course, some things had to be handled immediately - namely, that whole mess with Altosk, the Don's grandson, and Belias - but somehow things had managed to work themselves out. Well, somewhat, Yeager's banned from Dahngrest again, but it's not like that's anything new, and it certainly won't keep him out of the city.

(Given that this was the Don's punishment for his guild's incredibly stupid and dangerous actions, Raven really did work hard to get him out of trouble.)

And so they return to their lives. For the time being, Leviathan's Claw is keeping a lower profile and taking on far fewer jobs, which is mostly to make Raven's life easier, not that Yeager will admit that. He's met with the other two several times since returning home - Raven more than Alexei, for obvious reasons - and while it's always nice to see them, it's almost always been exclusively about business.

Not that he minds that, truly. There's something wonderful about picking up right where he left off, without the consequences of his actions in his world to actually feel marginally guilty over. The Don is alive and well (and pissed at him) here, after all. Zaude hasn't been raised from the ocean floor, and the guilds and the Empire seem to be handling each other decently well... for now.

...But.

It's hard to pretend that his time away hasn't changed him. Droite and Gauche have noticed it too - they stare at him when they think he won't notice and whisper amongst themselves, and there's always the feeling there, whenever he talks to them, that something is off. With their behavior, with his, it isn't entirely clear. Maybe both. They don't know, of course - he took care of his other self's body so that it would never be found, after all - but they recognize that he's changed, they just haven't figured out how.

And really, he wouldn't know how to begin addressing any of that with them, so he simply doesn't.

Oh, he'll get around to it someday, probably. They are his daughters and he does want to treat them as such - but for now he wants things to be normal. He wants the normalcy he so desperately craved while in that horrid place, so maybe he can have this for a little bit. As a treat.

Still, he always leaves those meetings - particularly the ones with Alexei - feeling like talking about business (and strictly business) is sort of... frustrating.

(If only he could drag the Commandant out to set something on fire again.)

It's one of those meetings that's brought him into Empire territory today - he had business here anyway, so it's not like it was just to see Alexei - and he shows up to the appointed meeting place on time, dressed as always in the usual suit, with the usual briefcase at his side. Were it not for the (slightly) more genuine expression, it would be easy to assume that everything was just as it once had been, without a single difference whatsoever.

It's nice, in some ways. In others, it's maddening.]

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[Yeager nods at the assumption, because Alexei's right. If he had accepted this contract, he would have handled it himself, because there's simply no room for error with a target this important. But it's a moot point anyway, since he wouldn't have considered it at all because it's Alexei.

Which probably says something about him, but he doesn't care to consider that now.]

You wouldn't know him, he was a young recruit; barely out of training, really. He was so determined to prove himself, but I never would have thought he'd be so brazen.

[Something he maybe could have appreciated, once. But there isn't any of that now and Yeager sighs with a shrug.]

Regardless, the rest of them won't be entertaining such ridiculous ideas. I've made my rules clear from the moment I took over as the leader of Leviathan's Claw and that much certainly isn't changing any time soon.

Well, I can appreciate having the confidence to make the attempt. Even if it is more than overbalanced by having the lack of foresight to entertain the idea in the first place.

[Alexei definitely does value rigid obedience in his knights, as well as generally having a sense of foresight to begin with, but he can appreciate the notion that someone had the balls to attempt something that insane, even if he's going to go about voicing it in a way that implies damnation by faint praise.]

Fortunately, more competent people have tried and failed. This one isn't going to succeed, either.

Indeed, I know.

[And he does know - both that this isn't the first time someone's tried to kill Alexei, and that this won't actually succeed either. Though, admittedly, his rush to get here and see for himself isn't exactly... usual... But he can see that Alexei's doing well enough, so that should be that.

He likely could finish their conversation shortly; reassure him that nothing like this will happen again, once again apologize and take his leave so Alexei can rest (or deal with the Don) and that would be that. Alexei undoubtedly has more important things to be doing than listening to Yeager, even if those more important things are just getting some damn sleep.

But he's still here and he's still antsy in a way he can't place and Yeager shifts again, crossing his other leg this time.]

Still, I'm... glad to see that it won't. It truly would be unfortunate if anything were to happen to you.

[Not because he's the Commandant of the Imperial Knights.]

[Maybe it's because Yeager has some weird energy going on that he can't place; maybe it's because he's spent too long thinking about the fact that this isn't the first time that this has happened, and it probably isn't going to be the last, either. Either way, he doesn't exactly want this to be it, either.]

...I've been left behind enough times to know that it's a cruel thing to do to someone. Even if it's unintentionally so.

I'm not interested in doing that to either of you.

[His first thought is to play it off, to turn it into a joke, to put some distance between himself and all of this, because even here and now Yeager's still dreadful at dealing with the past... or any genuine feelings at all, really.

But he takes a moment to suppress that, both because it isn't helpful and because it's not what he really wants to say.]

...Thank you, then. I would be... very angry if you were to leave us now.

[And a lot of things other than "angry", but that's the safest way to word it.]

Yeager, you have no concept of how angry I would be if a new recruit of all things succeeded where approximately the rest of the planet hasn't.

[That is a statement he will later chalk up to the mild delirium and the general malfunctioning of his system due to having just been shot, but at the same time he's not going to say it isn't true.]

...I do mean it, however. That I have no interest in doing that to you. It's... I think we've all dealt with that enough.

[That gets a short, sharp burst of laughter from him before he settles again, and he's still grinning when he responds.]

It would be a rather pathetic way to go after everything you've been through, ja?

[It's a little easier to address the second part now that Alexei's settled him, however, and he nods at that.]

We have. I would say we all need a nice, long break at this point, but I don't think a single one of us could manage that without going crazy.

[...]

...Crazier.

Oh, don't you dare include me in that.

[...Says the man who has told you that he raised a giant crystal death laser from the sea and planned on nuking a few places with it. At least he doesn't sound like he says it in all seriousness.]

Right, right, of course, how could I be so ridiculous?

[NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US IS SANE, MILORD.]

But don't worry, I'll keep this just between us~

Good man.

[...listen, ]

It seems my time in Dahngrest has been both involuntarily extended and likely to include spending hideous amounts of time on my own. Do see fit to make that up to me while I'm here.

[He's fairly sure Raven will be around, if partially in place of the Don; at the same time, figure out how to make things work, you.]

Ah, of course - what would you do without me to entertain you, hmm?

[That gets a sarcastic little bow from where he's sitting - the sort he used to give Alexei all the time when he was working for him; the kind that's never genuine at all, but just enough to pass as some sort of display of respect. Some things never change.]

As penance for my guild's actions, you have my word that I shall inflict myself on you for the duration of your recovery~

[...is this a good thing or a punishment??]

At least that's all I'm asking you to do. I had to put Schwann in charge of the Knights last time anything like this happened.

[He shifts a bit as he says it; not much, admittedly, as that's apparently a terrible idea.]

I can't guarantee I'll be in the best state of mind, but I'll do what I can.

How dreadful.

[Can you imagine giving him that much responsibility?? Hahaha, wow.]

You don't need to worry about that. I'll make sure not to leave you alone with your thoughts for too long.

...See to it that you don't.

[It's not something he would admit to, normally, much less so readily. But... Well, it is what it is.]

[If Alexei's admitting to it... Well, he'll do what he can to help so Alexei's not stuck dealing with that.]

If you have need of me and I'm not present, send someone to fetch Gauche and Droite. They're almost always in town and they'll send for me right away.

[Did he ever introduce the twins to Alexei... eh, whatever, they'll just think Yeager's being weird again (which he is), nothing to worry about there.]

[Who named those poor damn girls...

Horrid names for girls aside, Alexei doesn't reply right away; he wants to tell Yeager that that won't be necessary, or that he won't send for him unless his body has literally decided to die, but that's just...doing what he always does by refusing to acknowledge that he might be at all vulnerable. Trying to be the Commandant before he's a person. And that doesn't seem right with him.

So instead...]

I assume those were the girls with the flowers, that were in here earlier. I'll keep them in mind.

[...He says it kind of like he'd rather not be saying it, sounding rather as though someone is currently holding him hostage, but he's at least trying.]

[He can tell that it's an Attempt, and considering how bad some of Yeager's are, he has no room to talk.]

Ja, of course. They're smart girls, they won't pry any.

[Not that he thinks that's the concern, but it's worth saying.]

...I do appreciate it, though I'll try to visit you frequently so you don't have to send for me.

What explanation do you intend to give them, regarding why you're going to be here so often? You have to admit the optics of that will be strange.

[Morbid curiosity kind of compels him to ask.]

Well, I'll tell them—

[And then Yeager stops himself short, because he knows whatever would leave his mouth next would obviously be a lie, and that's sort of the problem, isn't it? He's great at pretending like nothing is wrong and getting away with that sort of thing is easy enough around most people - but not Gauche and Droite. They've been aware that something's up since the moment he returned and as he said, they're smart girls. They don't ask questions, which just means that they'll fill in the blanks on their own, and he's not entirely sure what they'd fill these blanks in with, but it wouldn't be a pretty picture regardless.

So he shouldn't lie to them any further. That's what he's been saying since he returned, but just how many times has he changed his mind and thought just a little longer until I tell them the truth?]

...I think it's about time I told them about... what happened.

[Not all of it, obviously. There are things they never need to hear - like about what happened in his and Alexei's timelines. They don't need to know why he was working for Alexei. They don't need to know just how much he struggled while trapped in that horrid game... but there's a lot they do need to know that will likely explain a lot about him and his incomprehensible reactions since he returned.]

[It's something Alexei has considered himself - how long they can do this until someone needs to know, until someone finds out - and his situation is far less immediate than Yeager's. He doesn't have family still living, he doesn't exactly have anyone outside of some very concerned subordinates who have noticed he's behaving strangely, and he can't imagine keeping something like this from anyone who might be closer to him than that.]

Do as you will. It's hardly anything I have any say over.

Ja, ja, of course.

[It's certainly not going to be easy to explain, which is likely why he's been avoiding it for so long to begin with, but that's something that he's going to have to face. For now, he shakes his head as if to clear it.]

Right, well, I'm sure you need to get some rest. I'll be by later - I don't intend to leave you here with nothing to do, after all!

[Because apparently Alexei needs a distraction, and at the very least Yeager's good at that.]

Well, it's hardly as though I'll be allowed to go anywhere for some time. I'll be here.

[He says that like it's something he's annoyed by, and as though he isn't going to be asleep pretty much immediately after Yeager leaves.]

Of course, of course~ I'll be back later, then!

[And with that he stands to leave, hesitating for a moment at the door like he's considering saying something else before instead he offers a jaunty little wave and heads out. The Don's nowhere to be found so he's presumably off taking care of something to do with the guilds, so it looks like Alexei will actually have time to sleep.

Yeager does have some pressing business to take care of, in the form of taking the twins outside Dahngrest to attempt to explain... well, most of what happened in the murdergame to them. There are some things he isn't going to address right now - namely, the whole "coming back from the dead" thing, because that's a lot to spring on someone, especially his two devoted daughters who will undoubtedly take that poorly - but he can at least get the general point across and it explains well enough why he's been spending so much time dealing with the Commandant and Raven.

Droite nearly slays him where he stands when she says "Oh, I just thought you were into him." like that's an appropriate thing to say in any context to him, but it's fine. He's not going to think about that one ever!! More importantly, he takes care of what few outstanding tasks he had before he returns later on in the evening.

The twins take their spot outside the room to keep watch (something that really isn't necessary given that they're in Dahngrest, and yet it's something they'll always do unless he specifically orders them not to) and Yeager knocks on the door to announce himself before entering.]

I do hope you weren't too bored without me!

[Alexei has thankfully not been too bored, though that's largely because the sorts of things his mind keeps producing are ensuring that he can't sleep, and arguing with his personal guards about whether he should be allowed up to do anything takes up a surprising amount of time when they have a very good argument for why he should not, in fact, be allowed to do anything. Since that very good argument is literally "sir, you were shot earlier today," and since Alexei doesn't actually want to tear every stitch they've put in him, they've at least gotten him to settle; he's still sort of balking at this - someone has to make decisions for the Empire, and he is absolutely not leaving Flynn to do that - but he's at least grudgingly agreed that any decisions made regarding the Empire itself can wait until morning, and that's going to be the end of that discussion for now.

The rest of his time has mercifully been taken up by Schwann, though he's Raven at the moment; either way, he's spent some time checking in on Alexei at the Don's request - likely making sure that the Commandant doesn't just drop dead after having been shot more or less on the Don's doorstep, as that would be horrific optics all around. Whatever reason he's here, though, it's good to talk to him. Reassuring, in its own way, even if he can't stay as long as Alexei would like.

...And then there's Yeager, just as his mind starts to wander; hopefully the girls don't mind spending time in whatever space they're in with some of Alexei's entourage, because man they are not fond of everyone and their mother from the guilds getting a private audience with the Commandant.

Fortunately, as far as Alexei is concerned, they don't get an opinion.]

...I think some of them would prefer it if I had been a little more bored, to be honest. Unfortunately enough, I'm not interested in taking their thoughts into consideration.

[Oh, don't worry, those girls can deal with the Don, so they can deal with anyone.

Anyway, Yeager's pleased to see Alexei's up, though hopefully that means he's actually gotten some rest today...]

I would be surprised if you did, honestly.

[He moves to take the seat nearby like before, offering Alexei a wry grin.]

Though you haven't been running yourself too ragged, ja?

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