heartstones | we are the sword, we tame the fire, the flame

we are the sword, we tame the fire, the flame

[It's wonderful to be home.

Oh, sure, it hasn't been an easy transition into this particular version of Terca Lumireis. After all, that involved tracking down and killing this version of himself, which was far harder than it needed to be. Waiting for the proper moment to ambush himself while Gauche and Droite were nowhere nearby was the most difficult part. His original plan had been to actually fight, he took the more merciful option and simply sniped his other self. In some ways it was sort of traumatizing, in others it was completely liberating.

(But as long as he doesn't think about it for too long, things are fine, as usual.)

Regardless, he disposed of the body and slipped right back into his old life without missing a beat.

Of course, some things had to be handled immediately - namely, that whole mess with Altosk, the Don's grandson, and Belias - but somehow things had managed to work themselves out. Well, somewhat, Yeager's banned from Dahngrest again, but it's not like that's anything new, and it certainly won't keep him out of the city.

(Given that this was the Don's punishment for his guild's incredibly stupid and dangerous actions, Raven really did work hard to get him out of trouble.)

And so they return to their lives. For the time being, Leviathan's Claw is keeping a lower profile and taking on far fewer jobs, which is mostly to make Raven's life easier, not that Yeager will admit that. He's met with the other two several times since returning home - Raven more than Alexei, for obvious reasons - and while it's always nice to see them, it's almost always been exclusively about business.

Not that he minds that, truly. There's something wonderful about picking up right where he left off, without the consequences of his actions in his world to actually feel marginally guilty over. The Don is alive and well (and pissed at him) here, after all. Zaude hasn't been raised from the ocean floor, and the guilds and the Empire seem to be handling each other decently well... for now.

...But.

It's hard to pretend that his time away hasn't changed him. Droite and Gauche have noticed it too - they stare at him when they think he won't notice and whisper amongst themselves, and there's always the feeling there, whenever he talks to them, that something is off. With their behavior, with his, it isn't entirely clear. Maybe both. They don't know, of course - he took care of his other self's body so that it would never be found, after all - but they recognize that he's changed, they just haven't figured out how.

And really, he wouldn't know how to begin addressing any of that with them, so he simply doesn't.

Oh, he'll get around to it someday, probably. They are his daughters and he does want to treat them as such - but for now he wants things to be normal. He wants the normalcy he so desperately craved while in that horrid place, so maybe he can have this for a little bit. As a treat.

Still, he always leaves those meetings - particularly the ones with Alexei - feeling like talking about business (and strictly business) is sort of... frustrating.

(If only he could drag the Commandant out to set something on fire again.)

It's one of those meetings that's brought him into Empire territory today - he had business here anyway, so it's not like it was just to see Alexei - and he shows up to the appointed meeting place on time, dressed as always in the usual suit, with the usual briefcase at his side. Were it not for the (slightly) more genuine expression, it would be easy to assume that everything was just as it once had been, without a single difference whatsoever.

It's nice, in some ways. In others, it's maddening.]

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[...you're going to get him to laugh and he's going to hate you for it

give him a minute

give him a minute oh my god]

That's what gets you to laugh?

[SIIIIIGH... he tries so hard and then something this low-effort gets it...]

Now you're the one disappointing me!

[...but of course, he doesn't really sound that bothered by it.]

[You suffer so much.]

It's hardly my fault that only certain things work.

[...]

And no, I'm not elaborating, you're going to have to find them for yourself.

[he truly does...]

You never will make things easy on me, ja? Fine, fine, we'll see if I can get you to laugh at something less stupid.

[But that's... kind of nice. Maybe.]

I take it you don't have any work for me today? Merely checking it to make sure I'm not making too much work for you?

[If there was business, we would've gotten it out of the way. He knows that, but he's asking anyway because... maybe it's just because he wants to hear that there really wasn't a reason behind it.]

If I had work for you, you would know by now.

[It takes him a moment to continue once that's out there; he glances away, as though ensuring they're not being crept up on by any monsters feeling opportunistic.]

Perhaps I wanted to see you. I wasn't aware I needed more reason than that.

[...Oh.

Somehow, it didn't occur to him that Alexei would just... say it. He sort of expected it to be hidden behind some flimsy excuse they could both see right through, and they could pretend there's a reason other than whatever weird proximity they gained during their stay away from home, but...]

No, you don't.

[It's out there before he can think to stop himself, and his first thought is to amend it, to turn it into a joke, to play it off like it's nothing—]

...I appreciate it.

[But he opts for honesty instead. It's still not easy; the words are a bit too simplistic, but he resists the urge to try to turn that into a joke.]

[Alexei has always been a blunt individual; sometimes it does well for him, sometimes it doesn't. This is... It's awkward, but it's still qualifying rather fairly under something he intended to say. So it's fine.]

Of course, Yeager.

[...................

This is so much easier with Raven, he doesn't know how to handle feelings or anything that isn't aggressively flippant teasing, so what is he supposed to do with this!!!]

Well, I... wouldn't mind seeing you again. Whenever time allows, of course. Even if you don't have a job for me.

[the sad thing is that he's actually Trying.]

...Peace negotiations will be ongoing for some time. For some reason, Don Whitehorse is very adamant that the recent death of a Council member had nothing to do with the Guilds. You weren't mentioned by name, of course, but he would rather prefer I believe that this wasn't you.

[And he does sound at least slightly amused by that.]

I'll be in the area, as a result. Though I may have difficulty getting time to myself, as those with me seem to believe that if I'm out of their sight for more than twenty minutes I've definitely gone off and died... Even so, if you can find time I'm not opposed to meeting again.

[It's not exactly a surprise - Raven told him as much already, after all - still it's... weirdly nice to hear that the Don is trying so hard. Obviously it's for peace and has not a single goddamn thing to do with Yeager, but like...

...Well, maybe he has some complicated feelings about what he did to the Don that he never bothered to address. Anyway, he's not going to do that now either! ☆]

Ja, I would like that. While I may not be welcomed in Dahngrest for the foreseeable future, Droite and Gauche are. Should you need to reach me, they'll remain in the city.

[Alexei's never actually met them before, but he's confident they'll be fine.]

I'll bear that in mind, then.

[He doesn't see to know what to do with that, though. Surely, that's it? ...Is that it? Of that's it he should probably return to the entourage (he's still got plenty of time left before he told them to come find him, but they really do hate this entire place), but it's... Well, this has been nice, he supposes.]

Of course.

[...Well, that's... that... It doesn't feel like that should be all. Stalling this out would be completely pointless for both of them, but he doesn't want to go just yet.

That's a dumb thought. Alexei said he'd be here for awhile yet, so it's not like it'll be a long time before they see each other again, right? Right. So no point in thinking about it further!]

I do appreciate the visit, and I'll see you again soon, Alexei.

[It's still weird to call him by name, so Yeager doesn't do it very often, but... well, he does mean it.]

[...God, he still doesn't know what to do with that. It's nice, but it's still incredibly strange, and he isn't sure what to do with it outside of take a while, after he leaves, to be privately pleased about the whole thing.

And then everything goes to hell back in Zaphias, because of course it does. Alexei isn't even sure what it is at first that requires his attention so badly - he just knows that his presence is required back in Zaphias, and when he returns he finds that something has happened with the Sword Stair.

The Sword Stair is the largest and most stable blastia they have; if the issue with the aer is getting to a point where the Sword Stair is destabilized, then that would be catastrophic. It's enough to work him up rather badly, even if, in the end, it isn't that bad - it comes down to readings he's required to interpret, to tests that need to be run against it because something came down strangely and that information somehow got to the public, and then there was panic over the barrier and he's one of the few whose presence will calm the people.

The barrier turns out to be fine; the anomaly was...troublesome, but within the range of fluctuation that's acceptable for the current time. But it's enough to remind him of the ever-present threat in those aer fluctuations, of the constant pressure that tends to come down on him to do something despite the Council doing everything in its power to ensure there's nothing he can do about it. And they'll continue on doing that, too, knowing them - after all, it was nothing this time, wasn't it? And they're not going to listen when Alexei tries to tell them that it really, really wasn't nothing.

He's required in Zaphias for some time, and he had to leave suddenly, and his thoughts are for the moment with the Empire but he'll realize after he returned how abrupt all of that will look. He knows that Don Whitehorse will understand; Schwann will make sure of that. Hopefully Yeager will do likewise.]

[Word of Alexei's sudden departure reaches him quickly - of course it does, he has several of his men inside Dahngrest at all times just to keep tabs on the different guilds that might prove useful, and something so large wouldn't have been able to escape his notice even if it had only been Gauche and Droite in the city. Exactly what is going on in Zaphias is much harder to get a good read on, but it's important enough to bring the Commandant back in a hurry, so it can't be good. The Council again, perhaps...?

It doesn't really matter, and though he does send someone to try to find out what's going on, he doesn't receive any valuable information. Frustrating, but not exactly surprising, at this point. Not that knowing would really dull the sting of disappointment any, he supposes.

And that's what it is, at the end of the day - disappointment that he can't see Alexei again, when he'd already gotten his hopes up about it. It isn't as though such a thing is unusual; he's had to cancel meetings with Raven before for various reasons, but the difference is that Raven spends a good deal of time in Dahngrest, it isn't difficult to reschedule. Finding reasons to be in the Empire is a whole different story.

Yeager doesn't have any reason to travel to the Empire now; his business dealings have been with the guilds primarily lately, causing problems that would undoubtedly anger the Don but won't risk truly upsetting him. A thin and dangerous line to walk, but one Yeager's gotten good at treading over the years. So he continues working, occasionally meeting with Raven, and feeling more and more annoyed that one third of this equation is seemingly going to remain just out of reach.

He considers traveling to Zaphias just for the hell of it. He has the money, he can find the time, and maybe the Commandant will pry himself away from work for five minutes if Yeager comes to him. He considers writing as well, but there isn't anything he can put in a letter that would be acceptable - not that he tried countless times, of course. In the end, he doesn't accomplish either, and time slips by.

It's nearly a month later when he actually has a reason to go to the Empire - Capua Nor, specifically - for a meeting about a job. It's not exactly close to Zaphias. He'd be going well out of his way just to try to arrange a spur-of-the-moment meeting with Alexei; he can't afford to stay away from the Guild for all that long, after all.

But he doesn't think twice about sending Gauche and Droite on back to the Manor of the Wicked after his business is concluded, and he makes his way to Zaphias anyway. He'd feel worse if he didn't try, after all.

So Alexei's going to be receiving a brief, handwritten note from one of the soldiers in passing, with no real explanation given for who it's from. Regardless, the letter's contents should give it away, even if the handwriting doesn't.]

I'm in town for a few days, so if you can free yourself from your busy schedule, pay me a visit.

I've kept you waiting long enough, haven't I? ☆

[A location of one of the inns is listed as well, should you want to come find him.]

[The note is perplexing at first; some part of him admittedly wonders if that poor woman who was swooning over Cumore recently has found herself another target. (She has; he's just correct about that for the wrong reasons entirely this time.) But odd woman or not, there's a good chance that he knows where this particular note came from, and as such... Well.

He has things he's in the middle of; he has things that are still demanding his attention even now. He's got more than enough to do without worrying about anyone's feelings - Yeager's, his own - and yet, even so, he finds himself getting frustrated and distracted until he finally decides to call it for the day and leave.

Fortunately the inn isn't any sort of great distance away, and he'll make his way there, pace brisk as usual. His usual blunt demeanor is on full display, as always, even when he's found the person he's here to see.]

Yeager. It's been some time.

[It's not particularly difficult to imagine the mountains of work Alexei's been buried under the moment he returned to the capital, so it's easy to assume that maybe he won't show up. It's his business whether or not he does, and Yeager can only wait here for so long, so there's no point in worrying about it. Either Alexei finds time to meet him or he doesn't, and that's... fine.

(It's not, not really. But there isn't anything else it can be, so that's what Yeager tells himself.)

So when he gets the knock at the door and sees a familiar face, it's understandable that he brightens immediately, right? Don't make a big deal of it.]

And here I thought you'd be entirely too busy! Come on in~

[He steps aside to allow Alexei to enter, that bright grin still in place.]

[...good lord, he's been here for thirty seconds and this is already so much. What does he do with this.]

Truth be told, I probably am. I'm here anyway.

[What did you expect, it's Yeager!!]

...Well, I appreciate that you made the time for me!

[Hopefully that brief pause isn't all that noticeable because wow, Alexei making time for him. Will wonders never cease (not sarcastic).]

I had business out this way so I thought I could drag you away from work for a bit; you likely could use the break.

[Clearly, it's some kind of miracle. Don't think about it too much.

That said, he takes a brief moment before responding to that any; the temptation is to deny it, to insist that everything is fine, perhaps to make some sort of biting remark regarding how Yeager doesn't need to concern himself with Alexei's well-being.]

...I likely could, yes.

[The admission feels weird. That doesn't mean it isn't honest.]

[Look at that, progress!! It still feels kind of surreal, but he can appreciate that Alexei is Trying.]

Don't worry, I don't have anything nefarious planned tonight~

[He knows better than to even joke about setting anything on fire in Zaphias, okay!!]

...Implying that you do have plans.

[He knows how that much tends to work, at any rate.]

[He laughs at that and holds up his hands.]

No, no, I wasn't even sure if you were going to drop by, so I didn't make any plans!

[He's trying to sit for once in his miserable life!!! Do you know how hard it is!!!]

Good.

[He might have to be annoyed, otherwise. As it is, he can appreciate the attempt.

...Sort of, anyway.]

Did you want anything in particular? I admit I wasn't expecting contact from you.

[Which isn't to say he's ungrateful for it? But still, you did contact him and that's...strange.]

[His first thought is to deflect, as always. But that's been the problem, hasn't it? They keep doing that and if neither of them actually says anything, then that's how every single meeting going forward will be. If he's perfectly honest with himself, Yeager isn't even sure what it is he's looking for out of meetings with Alexei at this point, but it isn't... this. Whatever "this" has become, anyway. Maybe he would've been perfectly fine with it back at that place, where they saw each other every damn day, but here? He's likely not going to see Alexei again for several months, if not longer.

So what does he want, exactly?]

I wanted to check in on you. I've sure things haven't been easy lately, especially since you were called back so suddenly.

[He doesn't expect Alexei to tell him anything about the situation, and he's not going to pry. But that is an honest answer, even if it's not... exactly right. I wanted to see you again would be more accurate, or even the dreaded I missed you, but there's only so much Yeager can get himself to admit, and so it's just going to have to be this for now.]

[Well, whatever "this" is, he seems pretty content with that answer, even if it is a bit on the surprising side; Yeager really isn't the sort to concede any ground, and as long as he continues doing that Alexei is fine with reciprocating. But this is new territory, and it's...nice, even if it's unexpected.]

They haven't. But it's...tolerable, at this point. There was a while where it wasn't, but I don't have much say in what I'm obligated to respond to.

It's better now, at least.

[...Well. You did say you wanted to check in.]

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