Yeager (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
scythegun) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
heartstones2023-09-15 10:19 pm
scythegun) wrote in heartstones2023-09-15 10:19 pm
we are the sword, we tame the fire, the flame
[It's wonderful to be home.
Oh, sure, it hasn't been an easy transition into this particular version of Terca Lumireis. After all, that involved tracking down and killing this version of himself, which was far harder than it needed to be. Waiting for the proper moment to ambush himself while Gauche and Droite were nowhere nearby was the most difficult part. His original plan had been to actually fight, he took the more merciful option and simply sniped his other self. In some ways it was sort of traumatizing, in others it was completely liberating.
(But as long as he doesn't think about it for too long, things are fine, as usual.)
Regardless, he disposed of the body and slipped right back into his old life without missing a beat.
Of course, some things had to be handled immediately - namely, that whole mess with Altosk, the Don's grandson, and Belias - but somehow things had managed to work themselves out. Well, somewhat, Yeager's banned from Dahngrest again, but it's not like that's anything new, and it certainly won't keep him out of the city.
(Given that this was the Don's punishment for his guild's incredibly stupid and dangerous actions, Raven really did work hard to get him out of trouble.)
And so they return to their lives. For the time being, Leviathan's Claw is keeping a lower profile and taking on far fewer jobs, which is mostly to make Raven's life easier, not that Yeager will admit that. He's met with the other two several times since returning home - Raven more than Alexei, for obvious reasons - and while it's always nice to see them, it's almost always been exclusively about business.
Not that he minds that, truly. There's something wonderful about picking up right where he left off, without the consequences of his actions in his world to actually feel marginally guilty over. The Don is alive and well (and pissed at him) here, after all. Zaude hasn't been raised from the ocean floor, and the guilds and the Empire seem to be handling each other decently well... for now.
...But.
It's hard to pretend that his time away hasn't changed him. Droite and Gauche have noticed it too - they stare at him when they think he won't notice and whisper amongst themselves, and there's always the feeling there, whenever he talks to them, that something is off. With their behavior, with his, it isn't entirely clear. Maybe both. They don't know, of course - he took care of his other self's body so that it would never be found, after all - but they recognize that he's changed, they just haven't figured out how.
And really, he wouldn't know how to begin addressing any of that with them, so he simply doesn't.
Oh, he'll get around to it someday, probably. They are his daughters and he does want to treat them as such - but for now he wants things to be normal. He wants the normalcy he so desperately craved while in that horrid place, so maybe he can have this for a little bit. As a treat.
Still, he always leaves those meetings - particularly the ones with Alexei - feeling like talking about business (and strictly business) is sort of... frustrating.
(If only he could drag the Commandant out to set something on fire again.)
It's one of those meetings that's brought him into Empire territory today - he had business here anyway, so it's not like it was just to see Alexei - and he shows up to the appointed meeting place on time, dressed as always in the usual suit, with the usual briefcase at his side. Were it not for the (slightly) more genuine expression, it would be easy to assume that everything was just as it once had been, without a single difference whatsoever.
It's nice, in some ways. In others, it's maddening.]
Oh, sure, it hasn't been an easy transition into this particular version of Terca Lumireis. After all, that involved tracking down and killing this version of himself, which was far harder than it needed to be. Waiting for the proper moment to ambush himself while Gauche and Droite were nowhere nearby was the most difficult part. His original plan had been to actually fight, he took the more merciful option and simply sniped his other self. In some ways it was sort of traumatizing, in others it was completely liberating.
(But as long as he doesn't think about it for too long, things are fine, as usual.)
Regardless, he disposed of the body and slipped right back into his old life without missing a beat.
Of course, some things had to be handled immediately - namely, that whole mess with Altosk, the Don's grandson, and Belias - but somehow things had managed to work themselves out. Well, somewhat, Yeager's banned from Dahngrest again, but it's not like that's anything new, and it certainly won't keep him out of the city.
(Given that this was the Don's punishment for his guild's incredibly stupid and dangerous actions, Raven really did work hard to get him out of trouble.)
And so they return to their lives. For the time being, Leviathan's Claw is keeping a lower profile and taking on far fewer jobs, which is mostly to make Raven's life easier, not that Yeager will admit that. He's met with the other two several times since returning home - Raven more than Alexei, for obvious reasons - and while it's always nice to see them, it's almost always been exclusively about business.
Not that he minds that, truly. There's something wonderful about picking up right where he left off, without the consequences of his actions in his world to actually feel marginally guilty over. The Don is alive and well (and pissed at him) here, after all. Zaude hasn't been raised from the ocean floor, and the guilds and the Empire seem to be handling each other decently well... for now.
...But.
It's hard to pretend that his time away hasn't changed him. Droite and Gauche have noticed it too - they stare at him when they think he won't notice and whisper amongst themselves, and there's always the feeling there, whenever he talks to them, that something is off. With their behavior, with his, it isn't entirely clear. Maybe both. They don't know, of course - he took care of his other self's body so that it would never be found, after all - but they recognize that he's changed, they just haven't figured out how.
And really, he wouldn't know how to begin addressing any of that with them, so he simply doesn't.
Oh, he'll get around to it someday, probably. They are his daughters and he does want to treat them as such - but for now he wants things to be normal. He wants the normalcy he so desperately craved while in that horrid place, so maybe he can have this for a little bit. As a treat.
Still, he always leaves those meetings - particularly the ones with Alexei - feeling like talking about business (and strictly business) is sort of... frustrating.
(If only he could drag the Commandant out to set something on fire again.)
It's one of those meetings that's brought him into Empire territory today - he had business here anyway, so it's not like it was just to see Alexei - and he shows up to the appointed meeting place on time, dressed as always in the usual suit, with the usual briefcase at his side. Were it not for the (slightly) more genuine expression, it would be easy to assume that everything was just as it once had been, without a single difference whatsoever.
It's nice, in some ways. In others, it's maddening.]
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Ja, of course. They're smart girls, they won't pry any.
[Not that he thinks that's the concern, but it's worth saying.]
...I do appreciate it, though I'll try to visit you frequently so you don't have to send for me.
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[Morbid curiosity kind of compels him to ask.]
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[And then Yeager stops himself short, because he knows whatever would leave his mouth next would obviously be a lie, and that's sort of the problem, isn't it? He's great at pretending like nothing is wrong and getting away with that sort of thing is easy enough around most people - but not Gauche and Droite. They've been aware that something's up since the moment he returned and as he said, they're smart girls. They don't ask questions, which just means that they'll fill in the blanks on their own, and he's not entirely sure what they'd fill these blanks in with, but it wouldn't be a pretty picture regardless.
So he shouldn't lie to them any further. That's what he's been saying since he returned, but just how many times has he changed his mind and thought just a little longer until I tell them the truth?]
...I think it's about time I told them about... what happened.
[Not all of it, obviously. There are things they never need to hear - like about what happened in his and Alexei's timelines. They don't need to know why he was working for Alexei. They don't need to know just how much he struggled while trapped in that horrid game... but there's a lot they do need to know that will likely explain a lot about him and his incomprehensible reactions since he returned.]
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Do as you will. It's hardly anything I have any say over.
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[It's certainly not going to be easy to explain, which is likely why he's been avoiding it for so long to begin with, but that's something that he's going to have to face. For now, he shakes his head as if to clear it.]
Right, well, I'm sure you need to get some rest. I'll be by later - I don't intend to leave you here with nothing to do, after all!
[Because apparently Alexei needs a distraction, and at the very least Yeager's good at that.]
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[He says that like it's something he's annoyed by, and as though he isn't going to be asleep pretty much immediately after Yeager leaves.]
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[And with that he stands to leave, hesitating for a moment at the door like he's considering saying something else before instead he offers a jaunty little wave and heads out. The Don's nowhere to be found so he's presumably off taking care of something to do with the guilds, so it looks like Alexei will actually have time to sleep.
Yeager does have some pressing business to take care of, in the form of taking the twins outside Dahngrest to attempt to explain... well, most of what happened in the murdergame to them. There are some things he isn't going to address right now - namely, the whole "coming back from the dead" thing, because that's a lot to spring on someone, especially his two devoted daughters who will undoubtedly take that poorly - but he can at least get the general point across and it explains well enough why he's been spending so much time dealing with the Commandant and Raven.
Droite nearly slays him where he stands when she says "Oh, I just thought you were into him." like that's an appropriate thing to say in any context to him, but it's fine. He's not going to think about that one ever!! More importantly, he takes care of what few outstanding tasks he had before he returns later on in the evening.
The twins take their spot outside the room to keep watch (something that really isn't necessary given that they're in Dahngrest, and yet it's something they'll always do unless he specifically orders them not to) and Yeager knocks on the door to announce himself before entering.]
I do hope you weren't too bored without me!
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The rest of his time has mercifully been taken up by Schwann, though he's Raven at the moment; either way, he's spent some time checking in on Alexei at the Don's request - likely making sure that the Commandant doesn't just drop dead after having been shot more or less on the Don's doorstep, as that would be horrific optics all around. Whatever reason he's here, though, it's good to talk to him. Reassuring, in its own way, even if he can't stay as long as Alexei would like.
...And then there's Yeager, just as his mind starts to wander; hopefully the girls don't mind spending time in whatever space they're in with some of Alexei's entourage, because man they are not fond of everyone and their mother from the guilds getting a private audience with the Commandant.
Fortunately, as far as Alexei is concerned, they don't get an opinion.]
...I think some of them would prefer it if I had been a little more bored, to be honest. Unfortunately enough, I'm not interested in taking their thoughts into consideration.
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Anyway, Yeager's pleased to see Alexei's up, though hopefully that means he's actually gotten some rest today...]
I would be surprised if you did, honestly.
[He moves to take the seat nearby like before, offering Alexei a wry grin.]
Though you haven't been running yourself too ragged, ja?
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[alexei even if you are could you maybe not respond to it like this- ]
I've been...well enough, for someone not allowed to see to anything they came here to do.
[NOT FOR WANT OF TRYING...]
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[YOU WERE JUST SHOT, MILORD...]
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I was hardly hit in the head, and someone has to ensure that the Empire continues to function in my absence.
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[I mean. It hopefully wouldn't fall apart in a day. Right??]
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[WOULD YOU REALLY.]
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You are making it very, very difficult to argue against you...
[yeah okay give him a second to laugh, goddamn!!! he tried!!!]
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[He is, at the very least, satisfied with himself.]
Fortunately for you, my personal guard has more faith in the Empire than I do, and I'm not to attempt any business of the sort until tomorrow at the soonest. They won't hear any arguments regarding how it's more or less my job to not have faith in our esteemed institution, I'm not permitted to do the job itself until they're certain I'm not going to die in the attempt.
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[It's light, though.]
But I am glad to hear that you'll be getting some rest, at least.
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[Is that a large part of the reason, of course it is. But it's not the only reason.]
I don't...like having extensive time to myself. The last time this happened was a deeply disturbing time for me, and all this does is bring that back.
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Then I'll work extra hard to ensure you're not left alone with your thoughts for too long.
[It's far too simplistic of an answer and they both know it, but actually asking about it?? Perish the thought.]
Things will get easier soon, at the very least. Your guards understand they can't keep you cooped up in here for too long, after all.
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[Will he apologize to them later? No.]
How did the discussion with the girls go?
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[But Alexei isn't going to explain it to them, so they'll have to deal.
That question gets a brief pause for him before he lifts his shoulders a bit; not quite a shrug, but close enough.]
About as well as could be expected, I suppose. They were quite skeptical at first - it is a lot to take in, ja? But they said it explained some things.
[Like how much time he spends with Raven, why he's actually attempting to behave himself for once, and why he has any interest in Alexei at all, among other things.]
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[Maybe from Gauche and Droite, but even then it's only maybe.]
They said as much, anyway.
[That they only believed it because it was coming from him, which makes sense. And is giving him some kind of feeling given he's shifting a bit again.]
I didn't tell them everything, of course, but I've told them enough for right now.
[The rest - of what he can tell them, anyway - can come later, after they've had some time to process this.]
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[Presumably enough to explain any differences in behavior, but otherwise who knows.]
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[There are things they simply don't need to know, like how close he came to dying for something he didn't do, or exactly what Raven (Schwann) and Alexei's relationship is like and all that comes with it. So a summation of the murdergame, in other words.]
I do eventually plan to tell them about...
[He pauses, clearly trying to figure out how to word it. And then Yeager simply gives up and sighs, shrugging a bit before placing his hand over his chest.]
...this. I don't know how I'll approach that, but I... want to tell them.
[It's obviously a complicated and difficult situation for him, but he does seem to mean that.]
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