[It's because this topic is difficult that he wants to discuss it in some way - because if they don't do it now they're going to continue to put it off into infinity, because they're both rather good at words without a lot of substance behind them, because they're both deeply avoidant people in the end and they can't just do that forever. It means the conversation will be hard, yes, but... Well, if not now, when? It's never exactly going to be a good time, even if this topic hurts more than he really knows what to do with.

He's quiet for a long moment before he says anything further.]

I wanted to go to you immediately... Once it became obvious that you were going to be under threat. If they wouldn't allow you to withdraw, then I wanted to be there with you.

They wouldn't allow that. They considered me too important to send to the front lines like that - as though the rest of you weren't important in that way? I've never been so furious; I left as soon as I was able, their permission be damned, but I...

[He falls silent at that; just give him a moment.]

None of what happened was your fault. It shouldn't have happened in the first place, but absolutely none of it was a failure on your part.